THE AGLAMI FAQAA - BY SEAN VII, MADMAN BY ROYAL APPOINTMENT INCLUDING
SEVERAL AND ALSO ONE OR TWO
I HAVE BEEN encouraged to write this FAQ by one or more of the lunatics on
the AGLAMI newsgroup. I of course refused immediately. Catch me doin' an
FAQ! HAH! But seriously folks... The FAQ is mainly to be used by people new
to the NG, curious people and people with too much time on their hands.
CHAPTER I - THE QUESTIONS...
Q: What is AGLAMI?
A: AGLAMI is a newsgroup dedicated to the three, no, make that four :o),
Monkey Island games. Secret of Monkey Island, Monkey Island II - Lechuck's
Revenge, Curse of Monkey Island and Escape from Monkey Island. Yay. Well...
That's how it's supposed to be. The truth... is a little different. The
discussions, as you may have noticed already, are not all that MI dedicated.
There is in fact an accute shortage of on-topic posts. The regulars hardly
post 'em anymore except when answering questions.
Q: No, I mean the word, AGLAMI. What's that?
A: Ah, well. Now you're asking. Frequently. AGLAMI is an abrevi...
abbrevi... abervi.. Ahem... AGLAMI is short for
Alt.Games.Lucas-Arts.Monkey-Island which is the name of the newsgroup.
Tadaa!
Q: How can I get the Monkey Island games?
A: Here I refer you to:
Guide how to buy the Monkey Island games if you only have a bag of
wooden nickels and a sword
by
Salty Pirate Reinder Hummel
---------------------------
1. I live in the USA or Canada
That's easy. Buy them at the online LucasArts store www.lucasarts.com
2. I'm not sure if I live in the USA or Canada
Well, that's not so easy...
There are several companies that distribute the games in other
countries than the USA or Canada. On the LA homepage you'll find a list
of companies and countries. Search your country and ask at a local
store to order the game at the company mentioned on the list.
Also you might try to order it here:
www.cnetgameshopper.com
www.reserve.co.uk
www.ebay.co.uk
www.gameplay.com
www.thegamezone.co.uk
www.amazon.com
www.softwarefirst.co.uk
Hope this helps...
Q: Why can't I get the EMI demo to work?
A: Try www.thescummbar.com. THey've got a section on demo probs.
Q: Who frequents this newsgroup?
A: They can be divided into two groups. The first and the smallest is a
collection of people who are stuck in/overwhelmed by/desperately trying to
find someone to listen to their babble about one of the MI games. These pop
in from time to time with a question or comment. They are usually advised to
"TURN BACK! TURN BACK! DARKNESS WILL ENVELOP YOU!!" or will simply be
decapitated by one of the regulars. If they are very very very lucky they
might actually get an answer or intelligent counter-comment. Just kidding.
The regulars are usually very freindly towards newbees and try to answer
their questions in whatever language they come in.
The second group consists of an assortment of lunatics who's brains have
been permenantly damaged by an overdose of off-topic posts and mindless
dribble about sponge darts and escaping voices. I myself am one of these
lunatics and proud of it! They are usually very aimiable and decapitate one
another in a freindly sort of easy-going way on an almost daily basis. As
far as I know they are all MI fanatics and a veritable goldmine of
information about the Famous Foursome. Details on the individuals can be
gained from the RRRRRR (see chap II for details).
Q: You mentioned language before... What language should one use when
posting to AGLAMI?
A: AGLAMI has people from several different nations around the world,
although most of them appear to be from northern Europe if i'm not much
mistaken. English is the preferred language as it gives the most people a
chance to join the discussion but you can really use any language you like
as there is bound to be at least one of us who understands you.
Q: What countries exactly?
A: Well we have a couple of Dutch people, some Danes (me for one),
Austrailians, British, Frenchmen, Germans, Spaniards, Irishmen and, I think,
a Norweigan or two. I apologize if i have left anybody out. I did not
intend to.
Q: How do I become one of the gang?
A: There are several ways. The first is to just start posting regularly. The
second, and more official way, is to post in loud, clear capitals that you
wish to join. You will then have to go through whatever trials anyone can be
bothered to make up. If nothing happens you can just consider yourself a
part of the fun and wait for your inclusion in the RRRRRR (see chap. II for
details).
Q: What happens if I post something that is off-topic?
A: If you have not included [OT] in the subject line you will be reminded to
do so.
Q: What's with the sponge darts?
A: The sponge dart rule was made during a discussion where we discovered
that most of the regulars had at some point injured another person using
darts as used in the game "Darts".
Q: Are there any rules you should follow on AGLAMI?
A: Yes:
1. When posting something off-topic you should always include [OT] in the
subject line. Neglecting to do so will be punished severely.
2. When playing darts you should only use sponge darts that cannot rikochet
off the board and accidently kill someone.
3. Do not, I repeat, do not mention Stamppotmous. Ever. If however you
should choose to do so anyway you will be executed in the most horrible
manner.
That's about it really.
Q: Hi I've got windows 2000 and of course monkey island three. The problem
is simple It doesn't work!!!. Does anyone know or had similair problems?
A: Check out http://www.ntcompatible.com/m.htm and scroll down to
Monkey Island.
Q: Where can I download Monkey Island 1?
A: Monkey island isn't abandon ware actually as I have recently discovered.
But try http://mi.adventuregamer.com/thegames/buy/buy.htm.
Q: What is this conspiracy thing i keep hearing about?
A: There is no such thing as a Conspiracy on AGLAMI. The whole idea is
clearly laughable! Hahaha! If however you should hear someone mention this
wierd notion you should E-Mail us at report@aglami_con.gov stating your
name, the name of the poster who mentioned it and the exact time and date
and the matter will be dealt with as swift as possible. The Cause thanks
you.
Q: One of the lunatics seems to be under the impression that my favorite
food is some weird dish i've never heard about. What should I do?
A: There is nothing you can do about this. It is sad, but there you have it.
You can type and type until you're blue, green or yellow in the face and it
won't help. Bastards!
Q: What is Stamppotmous?
A: Don't ask.
Q: Where do babies come from?
A: Shut up.
Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck
wood.
Q: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, how
much wood would a woodchuck chuck?
A: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood and even if a woodchuck would chuck
wood, should a wood chuck chuck wood?
Q: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck, as long as a
woodchuck would chuck wood.
A: Oh, shut up!
Q: Why is it so damn hot here?
A: It's all part of the conspiracy.
Q: Would you like to be gutted or decapitated?
A: With you around I'd prefer to be fumigated
But this is getting silly. So let's set sail for:
Chapter II - I WANT MORE!!
This FAQ is one of the two informative AGLAMI documents published by me and
Reinder Hummel popularly known as the two monkeyheads. Or something. The
other two documents are:
The RRRRRR - Reinders Regular list of Regular Regulars who Regularly post on
AGLAMI Regularly, or something. This is a list of all the really regular
regulars who have been in AGLAMI for some time. The RRRRRR is published by
Reinder Hummel.
Oh yeah: Pixel's site. Newbee's go here! www.crosswinds.net/~werf